#hurt so bad

[jt1674]

[lifblogs]

My mom hurt Alley. Alley needs ear drops for an infection, and my mom freakin’ dug the bottle deep into her ear. That’s a big fucking no! My poor girl! Like, that’s IDIOTIC. Why would you do that. Will discuss with @evilwriter37 about taking over this responsibility. I can’t trust my mom with Alley anymore. She hurts her, and makes her sick with her fucking idiocy. Unacceptable.

[fizzytoo]

y’all pray for me my stomach is on 10

[abearbutch]

spent 7hrs in a&e last night bc i passed a kidney stone :) i am Tired

[queenimmadolla]

and that Eddie fic (it’s on ao3, y’all on here are safe for now 👀) was so fucking good too I would just try so hard to see Andy or someone else’s name every time the author mentioned Patrick cause it hurt my heart to see him characterized like that

[burningdown-thehouse]

Average horrors enjoyer

[hoofpeet]

14 year old artists listen to me right now (gripping you by the shoulders) STOP caring about your "internet presence" right naow. Draw slower and stop trying to boil your art down to an acceptable marketable brand

[howardhawkshollywoodmusic]

48. Hurt So Bad by The Lettermen debuted May 69 and peaked at number 12, staying on the hot 100 chart for 21 weeks, and scoring 1096 points.

Little Anthony and The Imperials' original 1965 version peaked at number ten. Jackie deShannon charted but missed the top 40 in 1970 in a medley, and Linda Ronstadt's 1980 remake peaked at number eight.

[haganez]

tried to see if my ankle was better by doing kpop dances and caught another bad leg cramp. okay so the answer is maybe

[lovefromthestarz]

girl puberty :(. being able to trade pokemon cards with the guys and run around with your shirt off, and then suddenly you have to learn why all the guys stopped being your friend because they can't ignore the fact you're a girl anymore.

[akanemnon]

I don't like this place. It's turning everyone edgy and sad.

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MASTERPOST (for the full series / FAQ / reference sheets)

[tuuneoftheday]

Girl Ray - Hurt So Bad

[emptyheadmybeloved]

something about a tummy ache makes me want to just speak more to people

like sis you cannot leave the toilet

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[thebibliosphere]

Have you ever vomited so hard you not only wrecked your throat but dislocated your collarbone?

How about a migraine so bad it triggers your mast cells into a pre-anaphylactic reaction and you start breaking out in hives all over your body?

Yeah. Me neither until 4 o’clock this morning.

New level of hell unlocked.

And the migraine is still ongoing. I’m just no longer blind and dry-heaving.

I hate this.

[slowtovvn]

God damn I bruised the fuck out of my finger lmao